If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You can't special order awesome
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
