I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
