So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
