See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
