you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
