My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
