I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
