i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
