then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
