Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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