I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
