so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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