In the future we'll all be gay
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So vagazzling was a success
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
