please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
