I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
