Whod you bang
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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