When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
