so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
