thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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