this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
