those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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