Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
