Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
