It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
