epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
