Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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