Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
