Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
