I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
If I die, sorry about rent.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
