I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
