Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
