Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
whose parrot is this?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
