is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
