Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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