There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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