she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
