i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
