fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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