he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize