you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
