you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
