when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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