Hey man sorry I got all grabby
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
