An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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