Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
