She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Hippo gnu deer
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize