She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
