whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
