yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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