I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
