I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
