I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
