a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
being pregnant is like rehab
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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