did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
