What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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