it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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