Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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