I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Man, jail baloney is awful.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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