She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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